By Lena Nyhus
This morning I awoke to the story of Brayden Tyler Frazier. It was reported from numerous respectable sources that his death was caused by circumcision.
I looked into the story and chose to quote Jospeph4GI (The Angry Intactivist) when I posted the story to ‘Just a Snip’ and Intact Denmark on Facebook. Joseph wrote a strong but respectful blog-post about baby Brayden called Circumcision death: Yet another one (I hate writing these).
Apparently, little Brayden was circumcised Wednesday this week – 9 days old. During the circumcision he started bleeding. Although Brayden was given transfusions, plasma and numerous of other treatments, it was impossible to stop the bleeding and two days after his circumcision, he died, 11 days of age. As it turned out he was a bleeder, a haemophiliac. Brayden was not the first bleeder to die from circumcision and most likely he will not be the last.
I chose to let the family’s own picture of Brayden accompany the story. I found the picture shared many places on Facebook and visited the grandfathers own page, from where the picture was shared, the page was open and the picture shared more than 100 times.
Is it ethical to share his story, his name and his picture? I asked myself before I posted the story. Or should I rather write about the sorrow, the frustration and the rage that fills me, when I read about him? Should I quote some of the very strong comments I have read here and there or should I rather choose the informative approach?
Parents want the best for their children, I’ve always thought, and doctors act in the best interest of their patients. Of course there are some absolutely horrible exceptions to that rule of thumb, but I think, generally it’s true. However, some people simply don’t know enough about what circumcision really is and the risks involved with the procedure to begin with. I was important to me to convey the story of Brayden’s death because it help to prevent other children’s suffering and death. That way his death would not be in vain.
I wasn’t alone, hundreds of intactivists shared Braydens story and even more responded with comments, most of the comments were caring and kind Tragic. Heartbreaking. others were more extreme WTH!!!…These so-called ‘Parents’ should be tried for MURDER!!!!, this prompted the Grandfather to issue a statement
It’s sad that some people would exploit our family tragedy for their own purposes. Those who have repeatedly shared a false story about the circumcision being responsible for BRAYDEN’S death have only compounded our pain. It is unfortunate that people who misinterpreted or misconstrued a post on his condition have chosen to make him the “poster child” for their cause. While I respect all people’s rights to their beliefs, including those who choose not to circumcise their child, you do your cause a grave disservice when you promulgate a story filled with lies, and even refuse to take down your posts after being contacted privately and asked to. If you truly care so much about people and “…getting the truth out”, then take down any posts associated with the loss of my grandson that attributes his passing falsely to that procedure.
From the Grandfather~
Have I been posting lies? I asked myself. The answer was NO. Loudly and clearly NO. What I have shared and what I have seen shared is the grandfathers own words and pictures, from his own open Facebook profile, the vast majority of comments have been those of compassion, sorrow and frustration. The grandfather himself propagated Brayden’s story. He provided facts about Brayden’s treatment and the cause of his death. And now he is defending circumcision in his statement.
When I posted Brayden’s story initially, I did it with sorrow, compassion and respect for his family and their loss, now, I must admit, that respect is rapidly dwindling. The grandfathers Facebook page is still open. The pictures of Brayden are still on it. He has issued a statement calling the descriptions of the circumstances of Braydens death lies, but the facts that are being spread, all come from him and in it he defends circumcision.
My compassion with Brayden remains, my commitment to work to prevent similar horrible and completely avoidable deaths is strengthened, but I find it increasingly difficult to understand and respect the grandfathers actions.
I understand he is in sorrow, I understand that Brayden’s death must be a horrible shock to him and his family, but is not possible to pick and chose responses from people on the internet.
I would never have reposted Braydens story with mention of his name or use of his picture, if his family had not had an open profile. A profile that remains open to this time. I would most likely never have known the story surrounding his death, had his family not posted it to Facebook. Still, I would have considered taking the story off my pages, following the grandfathers statement, out of respect. But he calls me and the fellow intactivists liars. That we are not.
We work with absolutely no benefit to ourselves to save children, who will never thank us, who will probably never know we existed, simply because we care about their bodily integrity, simply because we respect their human rights, simply because we understand that a circumcision removes healthy tissue with great importance to adult sexuality, simply because we have read the studies that demonstrate long term physical and psychological effects of the assault to the children’s genitals, simply because we know that circumcision is never ‘Just a Snip’ but always genital mutilation.
Braydens sacrifice should not be silenced into non-existence. The truth is that on occasion circumcision kills. As intactivists we work to save lives. Let’s end circumcision of children – both boys and girls. Lets change the world – one child at a time.